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3 things of interest

Huge apologies for not having blogged for over a month!  I was in the middle of moving house and it was a big big mess, both physically and emotionally.  That coupled with the fact that I am absolutely incapable of multi-tasking.  The whole thing took a lot out of me and today is the first day I haven't felt like a zombie.  Well mostly.   But on to the point of this post, I've had several realizations since we last met.

#1  The other day I concluded that playing dolls with my 5 year old niece is in many ways similar to having phone sex.  I don't mean that in a pervy way so please let me explain.  In both instances I disassociate.  I am physically but not mentally present.  I am people-pleasing and faking that I am having fun.  I am acting.  I am roleplaying.  And I am too much of a control freak to let go and enjoy role-playing.  The main difference between the two situations is that with my niece she will correct me if I say or do something she doesn't like with the Barbies or Paw Patrol; she directs the whole show.  My phone lovers on the other hand just plow ahead focused and determined and too horny to care if I say something amiss.  Call me frigid or call me unfriendly,  but I find both situations equally boring, uncomfortable, and unsexy.  However if given a choice between the two I will always pick Barbies with my niece because she means the world to me and any time spent with her is precious.

#2  Also while I've been absent I had a birthday.  I won't tell you which one but let's just say that at this point I am resigned.  However there is something weird about my birthday that you should know.  Bad shit happens on or right next to my birthday.  On or around April 19th things implode.  First of all Hitler was born April 20, 1889.  Second of all, April 19, 1993 there was the Waco Branch Dividian siege.  April 20th 1999 was the Columbine school shootings, the Timothy McVey Oklahoma bombing was April 19, 1995, and the 1992 Rodney King Riots were in the general vicinity.   See what I mean?  It's kinda creepy and upsetting.

Not exactly next to my birthday was the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and city-wide lockdown (April15/16), but that brings me to the most important event of all.  On April 19, 1775 was the "Shot Heard Round The World".  Yes folks, that day in Lexington, MA began the American Revolutionary War.  That day we asserted our independence from England and took steps to become the U S of A.  In New England this day is an actual holiday called Patriots Day.  Some people even get the day off work.   Growing up my grandfather always called me and reminded me that my birthday was on such a momentous day.  It felt kinda special.  However now that I've written all this out it seems like everything awful happened mostly in the 90s.  Maybe it was just a bad decade overall and certainly something must have been up astrologically, but in the 90s I wasn't feeling so special.

#3  The third thing of note was that I realized I have a thing for Russian men.  They've got the accent, they've got the cheekbones, and they've got the chivalry thing down pat.

It all started when I inadvertently hired a moving company that was comprised mostly of Russian men.  Just talking to the office guy on the phone I fell in love.  I can't believe that I never noticed how sexy a Russian accent was before!  And then there were the hot young Russians who rescued - I mean moved - me and my furniture.  They treated us with the utmost respect and tender loving care.  I have never had a mover handle my furniture so well, and I have moved many many times.  I was totally impressed!  A few days after the move the sexy-voiced office guy called to make sure everything had gone ok and that I was happy with my move.  Such attention to detail!  Such consideration!

Being the susceptible romantic that I am, I immediately googled "what is it like to date a Russian man".  Of course I realize I am dealing with stereo-types here but apparently Russian men are what most of us would consider old-fashioned.  The articles said they are very protective of their women, always want to pay for the date, are heavy drinkers, and while quite family-oriented are also major cheaters.  I'm not so sure I like that last bit.  But phase two of my move is happening in another month and you can bet I will be hiring my Russians for that as well.  I'm hoping maybe a little more magic will happen; I wouldn't mind putting a face to the voice of that office guy.


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