Skip to main content

3 things of interest

Huge apologies for not having blogged for over a month!  I was in the middle of moving house and it was a big big mess, both physically and emotionally.  That coupled with the fact that I am absolutely incapable of multi-tasking.  The whole thing took a lot out of me and today is the first day I haven't felt like a zombie.  Well mostly.   But on to the point of this post, I've had several realizations since we last met.

#1  The other day I concluded that playing dolls with my 5 year old niece is in many ways similar to having phone sex.  I don't mean that in a pervy way so please let me explain.  In both instances I disassociate.  I am physically but not mentally present.  I am people-pleasing and faking that I am having fun.  I am acting.  I am roleplaying.  And I am too much of a control freak to let go and enjoy role-playing.  The main difference between the two situations is that with my niece she will correct me if I say or do something she doesn't like with the Barbies or Paw Patrol; she directs the whole show.  My phone lovers on the other hand just plow ahead focused and determined and too horny to care if I say something amiss.  Call me frigid or call me unfriendly,  but I find both situations equally boring, uncomfortable, and unsexy.  However if given a choice between the two I will always pick Barbies with my niece because she means the world to me and any time spent with her is precious.

#2  Also while I've been absent I had a birthday.  I won't tell you which one but let's just say that at this point I am resigned.  However there is something weird about my birthday that you should know.  Bad shit happens on or right next to my birthday.  On or around April 19th things implode.  First of all Hitler was born April 20, 1889.  Second of all, April 19, 1993 there was the Waco Branch Dividian siege.  April 20th 1999 was the Columbine school shootings, the Timothy McVey Oklahoma bombing was April 19, 1995, and the 1992 Rodney King Riots were in the general vicinity.   See what I mean?  It's kinda creepy and upsetting.

Not exactly next to my birthday was the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and city-wide lockdown (April15/16), but that brings me to the most important event of all.  On April 19, 1775 was the "Shot Heard Round The World".  Yes folks, that day in Lexington, MA began the American Revolutionary War.  That day we asserted our independence from England and took steps to become the U S of A.  In New England this day is an actual holiday called Patriots Day.  Some people even get the day off work.   Growing up my grandfather always called me and reminded me that my birthday was on such a momentous day.  It felt kinda special.  However now that I've written all this out it seems like everything awful happened mostly in the 90s.  Maybe it was just a bad decade overall and certainly something must have been up astrologically, but in the 90s I wasn't feeling so special.

#3  The third thing of note was that I realized I have a thing for Russian men.  They've got the accent, they've got the cheekbones, and they've got the chivalry thing down pat.

It all started when I inadvertently hired a moving company that was comprised mostly of Russian men.  Just talking to the office guy on the phone I fell in love.  I can't believe that I never noticed how sexy a Russian accent was before!  And then there were the hot young Russians who rescued - I mean moved - me and my furniture.  They treated us with the utmost respect and tender loving care.  I have never had a mover handle my furniture so well, and I have moved many many times.  I was totally impressed!  A few days after the move the sexy-voiced office guy called to make sure everything had gone ok and that I was happy with my move.  Such attention to detail!  Such consideration!

Being the susceptible romantic that I am, I immediately googled "what is it like to date a Russian man".  Of course I realize I am dealing with stereo-types here but apparently Russian men are what most of us would consider old-fashioned.  The articles said they are very protective of their women, always want to pay for the date, are heavy drinkers, and while quite family-oriented are also major cheaters.  I'm not so sure I like that last bit.  But phase two of my move is happening in another month and you can bet I will be hiring my Russians for that as well.  I'm hoping maybe a little more magic will happen; I wouldn't mind putting a face to the voice of that office guy.


Popular posts from this blog


I was watching Stranger Things the other night, witnessing the bond of love between Junior high schoolers Mike and 11, and was feeling skeptical that kids that young could feel such real romantic love when suddenly I remembered my soulmate.I mean my real soulmate:  my totally-perfect, meant-to-be, no-doubt-about-it soulmate.I was eight, and it was only for a couple hours but I just knew.And I still know.I have never had a connection like that since.
I met my soulmate Chris on a Maine vacation island. He had shaggy blond hair and was a year older than me.Our two families were staying on a webwork of little islands all connected by bridges to a central island where the dining hall was.His family was on an island on one side of the center and my family on an island on the opposite side.I don’t remember how we met, most likely it was at the communal dining hall, but our families became friends.One day they all went off to do a hike or other activity together and somehow Chris and I staye…

hindsight is 20/20

I realized something the other day:  my parents were scared.  When I was going through my teenage rebellion/budding alcoholism they did their "tough love" thing (very popular in the 80s) because they didn't know what else to do and so latched on to something that promised to help them.  All these years I just thought they were mad at me and didn't like my personality and individuality but now I believe they were terrified and only wanted me to be safe.  Perhaps they felt they were hanging on by the skin of their teeth.  Maybe they weren't actually rigid autocrats out to spite me and flex their power like I thought they were.  Maybe they felt out of control and unable to protect me.

Because I was a handful.  Not that I regret any (or much) of my trying to assert my independence because it is probably what saved my life.  Their (at the time) East Coast, preppy, WASPy point of view felt so hypocritical to me but I now know that if I had a teenager who was drinking …

inner beauty, outer beauty, and defending Carrie Fisher

Next to mental health and personal growth stuff, beauty is my favorite thing to talk about.  And since my last couple posts have been pretty heavy-duty, today let's talk about beauty.

I have worked in the beauty industry off and on since the mid-eighties, with a serious concentration in it the last twenty years.  Now I follow a lot of beauty influencers on YouTube and blogs and will watch and rewatch my favorite ones as a way of self-soothing.  I rarely watch TV, and I rarely do much on my computer except for write or watch my lovely YouTubers.  When beauty journalist Sali Hughes goes through another influencer's stash of skincare products to discuss them it is like porn to me.  Or sometimes she does makeup porn, which is my second favorite (see Sali in action here).   Still, it's not good to get too obsessed because obviously there are more important things in life.  If we are not careful the world of beauty can lead to a lot of criticism, judgementalness, and perfectioni…