Skip to main content


Showing posts from February, 2019

girl meets boy

I've watched too many rom coms and can spin a romantic tale automatically in a matter of minutes.  I see almost every life event as a screenplay.  And as I mentioned in Homage To An Ex, I tend to get sucked into relationships just because the cute-meet or storyline is good.  For example I totally, unexpectedly, met a guy in Massachusetts last week and immediately in my head had us fated as a meant-to-be couple with me moving back east to live with him.  Poor guy - he had no idea that I had it all arranged.  Although maybe if I describe the scenario to you below, you will see that I'm not completely off base.  Here's what happened: 
We had parked on opposite sides of the street to go to an AA meeting but he crossed over and we ended up walking up the hill together to the parish house.  Knowing that we were both headed to the same place and had recovery in common, he struck up a conversation.  I couldn't see him very well because it was dark but he was big and tall and …

what the 1970s were really like

I believe music, just like scent, has the power to bring you back in time to specific places and feelings.  Case in point:  The other day I heard Elton John's Daniel and I was instantly transported to my 8 year old self sitting in my flower wallpapered bedroom feeling melancholy.  Are 8 years olds supposed to feel melancholy?  Was this the start of my battle with depression?  Or a sign of my alcoholism-to-come, because I was definitely feeling like I wanted an ambiguous something MORE; that my hole-in-the-soul needed to be filled.   Or maybe, perhaps more likely, I was just a sensitive kid reacting to a sensitive song.  But anyway, I took that time-traveling leap of 45 years and used it to think of even more stuff about the 70s I'd like to share with you.

Our next-door neighbor Mrs. Moore compulsively drank Fresca (one of the very first diet sodas) and served her kids Vienna Sausages which were like mini uncooked hotdogs that came in a small jar of gooey liquid.  My Mom never…

a heathen goes to evening mass

I consider myself spiritual rather than religious.  Some might even consider me a little bit heathen (see why here).  But growing up I desperately wanted to be religious although my family wasn't.  When I was living in Massachusetts all my friends were Irish Catholic and went to CCD in preparation for their Confirmation.  They complained but I wanted to be like them and have to go to CCD too.  Then when my family moved to California all my friends were Jewish and went to Hebrew School in preparation for their bar/bat mitzvahs.  I totally wanted to go to Hebrew school.  From this vantage point I can clearly see that I just wanted to belong to something greater than myself- a community, even a spiritual center.
I've been to plenty of churches and temples and felt nothing.  I thought I was simply content to pray on my own.   But last night I went to an evening mass because I was in Massachusetts visiting my friend Kelly O'Mara and I have to admit I had a pretty cool experien…

a dark place

I’ve been watching a lot of dark movies and tv shows lately only they don't feel dark to me. They feel matter-of-fact, like "Yeah, that's how life is".  Does that mean I am depressed?  My friend K and her husband are hooked on serial killer true crime tv shows and K is normal.  Does that mean I am normal?  Usually I avoid anything remotely dark but nowadays it seems to suit me.  And at this time of year there is usually a season of Dancing With The Stars to perk me up (see post What Gets Me Through) but they are forgoing the early spring season in order to revamp the show, so I am left high and dry and watching Inside Look:  The Assassination of Gianni Versace, American Crime Story.

Ever since I was a little girl I've been afraid of the dark - literally.  I was always scared there was something evil and dangerous lurking and even to this day I am wary.  When I was a teenager my parents always warned me about going out after dark as if being out and about at nigh…

what it was like working in the film business

Whenever people find out I used to work in Hollywood they get really excited, but honestly those were some of the most boring jobs I've ever had.  And yes I met a few celebrities but I saw a lot more of them when I was working retail at the Century City shopping mall.  Sorry to burst your bubble, but don't worry I will dish the dirt for you anyway.  First though, let me tell you a bit about where I was coming from and what lead up to my jobs in the film business.

I originally went to one of the Seven Sisters colleges to study creative writing but midway through my second year there I got the most horrendous writer's block.  I actually got a D in poetry!  So I switched to filmmaking in order to tell my stories and poems through imagery.  It worked just fine but at that time that collage had no film department so I transferred to San Francisco Art Institute. SFAI is a fine arts college not to be confused with the more well-known San Francisco Art Academy which is a commerci…