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a dark place

I’ve been watching a lot of dark movies and tv shows lately only they don't feel dark to me. They feel matter-of-fact, like "Yeah, that's how life is".  Does that mean I am depressed?  My friend K and her husband are hooked on serial killer true crime tv shows and K is normal.  Does that mean I am normal?  Usually I avoid anything remotely dark but nowadays it seems to suit me.  And at this time of year there is usually a season of Dancing With The Stars to perk me up (see post What Gets Me Through) but they are forgoing the early spring season in order to revamp the show, so I am left high and dry and watching Inside Look:  The Assassination of Gianni Versace, American Crime Story.

Ever since I was a little girl I've been afraid of the dark - literally.  I was always scared there was something evil and dangerous lurking and even to this day I am wary.  When I was a teenager my parents always warned me about going out after dark as if being out and about at night was inherently fraught with peril.  So I have learned not to like the dark.  Dark weather, dark music, dark chocolate (yech!).   Although if I were to be totally honest some dark things turn me on; dark eyes, dark Cheese Its (the slightly burnt ones), dark wash jeans...and now apparently dark movies.

Currently I'm pretty sure it's all connected to the dark winter weather.  I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) which for the record is a real thing.  It's when our circadian rhythms get out of whack due to fewer daylight hours.  It's my person belief than humans are meant to hibernate through winter just like bears.  At least this human being is.  You might even have it to a certain degree so look for symptoms of low mood, varied degrees of depression, loss of energy, sleep problems, irritability,  increased appetite, strong craving for carbohydrates and sweet foods, as well as headaches and muscle pain.  As you know I am prone to depression in general so it is only natural that I would get SAD. But the question is how do you beat it?  Here is what I know:

Get fresh air - walk!  And then there is Abraham Hicks.  "Abraham" is actually a group of loving spiritual entities channeled by Esther Hicks.  Abraham is the energy of source and infinite intelligence.  Abraham preaches love and the power of attraction, and wants you to live "in the vortex" as much as possible.  "In the vortex" is kinda like being "in the zone" where you feel connected to your higher self/true self and are authentically feeling good.  Abraham says the most important thing in life is to try and feel good, because when you are happy it raises your energetic vibration and that brings you closer to source.  It also effects those around you - you get to pass on those good vibrations.  Of course they don't mean to pursue feeling good by having an affair, or major shopping spree, or eating a box of chocolates.  They have in mind things like mediation, creativity, spending time with uplifting friends, writing gratitude lists, and letting go of old limiting beliefs.  It's not always easy to do but the payoff is worth it.  However it goes against our American ethic of put your nose to the grind stone and work work work.  Even people without actual jobs are working at something.  Many of us feel guilty about allowing ourselves to have fun and only eke it out in limited quantities.  Women as caretakers are especially prone to this line of thinking.  But what if it were our soul's purpose to enjoy life?  To be a human being in sync with a great loving force?  To put ourselves first so we can be better support and inspiration to others?  When we allow ourselves to be happy it shows others that it's ok for them to be happy too.  Besides, Abraham says desirable physical manifestations such as money, relationships, and lifestyle success are by-products of focusing on joy. Imagine that!

There are a ton of books out with Abraham's channeled messages and if you want daily inspiration (which I desperately need because I have a built-in forgetter) you can follow @abraham_energy or @abrahamhickspublications  or even @abraham_socal on instagram.  Honestly, it's a struggle for me to stay positive at this time of year, I flounder around trying to do the next right thing but injecting little shots of positive energy such as this keeps me from going over the edge.  And I might want to be more selective with my tv/movie viewing too.


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