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ABOUT ME







My name is Kate.   

I suffer at varying times from depression, chronic fatigue, a highly addictive personality, and anorexia of the soul. I am blogging to help the anorexia of the soul bit, because I am a creative type that dies on the inside if I am not creating something.  Even if it's just a batch of my stupendous peanut butter with peanut butter candy cookies (pudding in the mix!).

I grew up in Massachusetts and in California and have been back and forth my whole life.  I love both places so you will see me write about them both a lot.  However it has made me  confused about who I am and where I want to be., but I keep trying to make life better.  These are my thoughts and attempts at trying; sometimes humorous sometimes pedantic.  I write them lying down on the couch.  I do whatever I can from the location of either my bed or my couch, but I will leave the house if necessary.

I don't claim to be an expert on any of this life stuff - I never got the instruction manual at birth - I'm just here to entertain you. Or possibly some of you can relate.

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soulmate

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I realized something the other day:  my parents were scared.  When I was going through my teenage rebellion/budding alcoholism they did their "tough love" thing (very popular in the 80s) because they didn't know what else to do and so latched on to something that promised to help them.  All these years I just thought they were mad at me and didn't like my personality and individuality but now I believe they were terrified and only wanted me to be safe.  Perhaps they felt they were hanging on by the skin of their teeth.  Maybe they weren't actually rigid autocrats out to spite me and flex their power like I thought they were.  Maybe they felt out of control and unable to protect me.

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